Da Bomb

Does San Francisco feel left out? No terrorists want to attack our city, no grandiose structures have been blown up, no planes have been miraculously landed in a narrow water channel, the only time we get National or Global media attention is around the subject of Gay marriage. Attention whores that we are, we had no choice but to blow up a gym bag.

As we proceeded with our run, there was a flurry of discussion about the bomb scare. After all, traffic was backed for miles in all directions and the bomb squad was busy at work. Despite the scare, we all went about our business, doing our 400 hundreds and 1600 hundreds, figuring we were safe enough. After all, "It's probably just a gym bag," said Steve (AKA "Fat George Clooney", AKA "Mr. Brown"). Then, to our surprise and maybe even a little delight, came the echo from the bullhorn: "Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole!" and a giant "BOOM", they blew up the gym bag, saving us all from an untimely encounter with a...workout?

That night, I googled to find details on what had happened and could only find a small blurb in a SF Weekly Blog. It commented on the activity but provided no detail on what they had blown up. I checked the same blog again today and found the humble admission that all of the precious city's resources had saved us all from the high level threat of a discarded gym bag. I'd like to think that a bomb squad would, first and foremost, be trained in identifying the difference between an ordinary bag and an imposing threat. Instead, all it takes is a bystander's observation that a bag was tossed out a window for it to qualify as a bomb. Personally speaking, I've seen better detective work on Scooby-Doo.

Why Can't Us?

Remember back in the days when baseball was simple? As a kid, my Dad used to take my brother and I to games all the time, we could gorge on hot dogs, cotton candy, and soda and my dad went home with a few bucks left in his pocket. Now, stadiums across the country are being re-built with premium amenities and premium prices, sending parents to the poorhouse for indulging in the great American passtime. Sure, it keeps the riff-raff out, but isn't it the crazies who make the sport what it is? Alas, the children of today's baseball going experience will be privileged, but I do hope their ADD medication allows them to sit through an entire game without a temper tantrum.

So my Phillies are National League champs and the city of Philadelphia, from Kensington to Manayunk is alive with hope and pride. Over here on the Left Coast, Philly fans have been coming out of the woodwork, becoming fast-friends as we watch the games in bars and share the play-by-play emotional ups and downs. Game 1 was a great high, Game 2 was like watching the Bad News Bears, and of course I pray every night the the home team advantage will shine (even if the sun doesn't) this weekend at the new Veteran's Stadium (I refuse to call it by it's new name).

I am the first to admit, I'm a fair-weather baseball fan. I cheer for the Phillies and the Giant's and that's about it. So I didn't realize how opinionated sport's fans could be until I began to feel my own passion for the Phillies welling up and low and behold, Facebook became the forum for "friends" far and wide to put my homeboys down. What fascinates me is that no one is actually a Ray's fan, they just don't want the Phillies to win. Why you's gotta be haters? What did the City of Brotherly Love ever do to you, besides secure your constitutional rights, invent electricity, and bring you such culinary delights as the cheesesteak, soft pretzel and water ice? Yes, but what has Philly done for me lately? Comedy, that's what. Why can't us? And why can't you, get yourself a little of that Philly Fever.

Unlike Phillies fans who have a deeply rooted emotional bond to the team, a bond that was passed on from generation to generation; Rays' fans are first generation. There's no history there. And the fact that so many are willing to support them over the Phillies says something, something that sounds a little like, "I have no soul, but I'd really like one." Just like the experience of going to a baseball game has become premiumized and out of reach for the everyday Joe (not to be confused with Joe the Plumber, who probably can't afford baseball tickets because he's busy paying his back taxes), fans who don't have an emotional connection to a team have to force it. And I guess the higher road would be to let them have that. Let them have their hope too. Because when you get rid of the garlic fries, the $75 seats, and the $8 beers, isn't that what it's really all about?

Still, for me, the bottom line is, the Rays' don't ask themselves; Why can't us? And if they did, who would find that funny?

Flea Bag

Don't ask me how, but Matthes, the INDOOR CAT, has gotten fleas. In the past month, I have flea bombed, I have had pest control come and spray toxic chemicals, I have washed my bedding and vacuumed maniacally, I have put Matthes on Advantage (a funny story for another blog entry). And tonight, I returned from a wonderfully relaxing and flea-free weekend at Sea Ranch to find fleas, fleas and more fleas. I decided it was time to give Matthes a flea bath.

I was expecting the worst and thought I was going to walk away from the bath with Matthes carvings on any piece of exposed flesh. He was actually fairly reserved. He just sat there in the tub, he seemed resigned. I almost didn't recognize him.

But that is Matthes...always full of surprises, if not dignity.

I have been noticing lately that bacon seems to be making it's way into sweet foods, as seen here in a muffin found at 4 Barrel Coffee. It was also on the dessert menu at Nopa, in a roasted corn ice cream with skillet bread and bacon brittle on the side combo. Personally, while I love bacon and I love sweets, I'm not crazy about the combo. Just like dousing chocolate with salt arouses my curiosity but not my appetite.

Interesting though...what's next? French fries with caviar?

Man on bike killed

Awful

Read the comments. One guy's solution is to avoid eye contact with every single person you encounter. "to do so otherwise seems to get you killed more often than not." A riveting commentary on crime in our city, "veryvermilion". I'm verysorry you don't have a higher IQ.

Introducing...Cooper

I recently said goodbye to my loyal companion, my Jetta, Leroy. It was harder than I expected it to be. I got him detailed, got the bumper touched up, but then I hesitated before posting the listing. While he was physically ready to go, I wasn't emotionally ready to let go. Finally, with my new car on the way, I reminded myself: it's just a car, and I put the ad up on craigslist. Less than a week later, he was gone. The first person to respond to the ad, ended up buying him for just under asking price. I think he went to a good home, a cute, young guy who needed a good commuting car. I hope he scores lots of chics and that Leroy can live out his golden years with some TLC.

And so I went to pick up my new wheels this week, the VW GTI whom I've christened (or "jewened") Cooper, after the car Diageo wouldn't let me buy. Now, sad as I am that I couldn't get a Mini Cooper, I must say, the GTI is pretty damn awesome. It's fast. So fast, I got a speeding ticket my second time driving it. And, no offense Leroy, but it's so much more luxurious. Heated leather seats, integrated stereo system, and various other cool doo-dads that make driving (and parking) an enjoyable experience.

Cooper's first trip to the country: Canoeing on the Russian River

Now, about that speeding ticket, does anyone know if it's legal for a cop to record a conversation without notifying you up front? This douchebag cop recorded the whole deal and didn't tell me until the end. Cooper and I feel so violated.

Nautica Malibu

In his own version of the midlife crisis, my brother decided he wanted to jump on the triathlon bandwagon, and asked me if I had any interest in doing the Nautica Malibu triathlon with him. The idea immersed in May. I said sure and sent him all kinds of tips for training. I spoke with him periodically throughout the summer and the key thing I was trying to drill into his head was how important practicing in the open water would be. But you know what they say about leading a horse to water...you can't make them swim in it.

Despite the fact that I've officially retired from TNT, I managed to train somewhat regularly over the summer. I even did a great swim in Aquatic Park the week before the race with Rebecca and Nate. It was during the 4-day heat wave we had in early September known as "summer" and actually quite nice conditions for Aquatic Park. But I digress.

The Nautica Malibu triathlon now ranks as one of my favorite tri's to date. While each race that I've done has it's positives and negatives, Malibu is really quite approachable, like the Merlot of triathlons. I flew down Thursday night, Andy I went to register on Friday. Pretty good shwag, including female-specific race shirts which in my book, already makes the race a winner. The San Francisco crew, starring Rebecca, Nate, Geoff, Tiffiny and Shaun were all driving down and arriving later on Friday. Most of us didn't meet up until we found each other in the transition area Saturday morning.

Historically, the race has been a celebrity triathlon offering a sprint distance only. The race directors must have looked at their financial spreadsheet and realized how much money they could make if they extended the race and added an olympic distance. Sure enough, they got 1,000 people to sign up for the Oly on Saturday and another 2,000 for the sprint (including J LO, Matthew McConaughey and Andy Baldwin) on Sunday.

The swim was probably the most challenging part of the race; the first leg was through the breakers, totally new for me and not so easy getting pounded by waves during that first stretch in the water. Getting to that first buoy felt like it took forever, but once out there, it was a straight line to the 6th buoy, turn, and then body surfing into the finish. I came out of the water at 30 minutes, but the walk through the sand to the timing chip sensors put me at 31 minutes.

The bike was an out-and-back, all along a gorgeous stretch of the PCH. There were a couple of rollers but mostly flat and the race organizers managed to get one lane of traffic closed to cars. On the way back, we rode past miles of cars backed up waiting for the intersections to open up. I must confess, it brought me some happiness (the fleeting base kind) to see all the fancy Malibu cars and their self-absorbed drivers (with yappy dogs wearing clothing) standing there looking ticked off. I saw Andy on the bike and was happy to see that he had made it through the swim. Time on bike: 1:30

The run was also along the PCH and completely flat. The ocean was in site the whole time and during one stretch, I saw dolphins swimming in the water right offshore. When I saw Andy on the run and told him the end was in sight, he responded "I f'ing hate this" which made me laugh. I don't know of any triathlete who thinks the run is a fun experience. At mile 4, I looked at my watch and realized that if I pushed myself, I was within reach of getting a sub-3-hour overall time. I picked up my speed a bit, but unfortunately, my knees were not on board with the plan and I had to slow down to my standard sluggish triathlon run pace. Still, I finished with my best run time at 1 hour and overall time, 3:09.

My brother rolled in about a half hour later and as we congratulated him, the confession came out: he swam about 1/3 of the swim then come to shore. He then snuck into the transition area and got on his bike, then he did the run. He actually had a better time on the bike than me (by 3.5 minutes), which we later calculated about 1 minute of that could be attributed to the better bike and the rest was just sheer determination to beat his little sis. Still, ya gotta love the father/child finish, which I captured on video as Abby ran out to meet him on the finish chute.

Sunday's celebrity race made headlines all across the rags and it was interesting to see the special treatment the stars got. J Lo had an entourage escort her from the swim to the bike and Matthew had a chair setup for him in the transition area. But the stars did something that the rest of us couldn't; they raised a couple hundred thousand dollars for the Children's Hospital. For that, I will grant them leeway.

Not sure what's next on the triathlon circuit. Marin is coming up in October...