Saturday, January 24, 2009

Da Bomb

Does San Francisco feel left out? No terrorists want to attack our city, no grandiose structures have been blown up, no planes have been miraculously landed in a narrow water channel, the only time we get National or Global media attention is around the subject of Gay marriage. Attention whores that we are, we had no choice but to blow up a gym bag.

As we proceeded with our run, there was a flurry of discussion about the bomb scare. After all, traffic was backed for miles in all directions and the bomb squad was busy at work. Despite the scare, we all went about our business, doing our 400 hundreds and 1600 hundreds, figuring we were safe enough. After all, "It's probably just a gym bag," said Steve (AKA "Fat George Clooney", AKA "Mr. Brown"). Then, to our surprise and maybe even a little delight, came the echo from the bullhorn: "Fire in the hole! Fire in the hole!" and a giant "BOOM", they blew up the gym bag, saving us all from an untimely encounter with a...workout?

That night, I googled to find details on what had happened and could only find a small blurb in a SF Weekly Blog. It commented on the activity but provided no detail on what they had blown up. I checked the same blog again today and found the humble admission that all of the precious city's resources had saved us all from the high level threat of a discarded gym bag. I'd like to think that a bomb squad would, first and foremost, be trained in identifying the difference between an ordinary bag and an imposing threat. Instead, all it takes is a bystander's observation that a bag was tossed out a window for it to qualify as a bomb. Personally speaking, I've seen better detective work on Scooby-Doo.