Thursday, April 26, 2007

We All Ask 'Why?' I Finally Figured It Out

Why? Why? Why? People who call themselves endurance athletes just love to ask themselves, and each other, this question. Why do we sacrifice our weekend mornings when we could be snuggling in bed...when the rest of the world is flipping pancakes, we are huffing up Mt Tam? Why do we think that riding a bicycle in the rain/fog/wind is a step towards spiritual enlightenment? Why do we spend thousands of dollars on gear when we could just give the money directly to charity? Why do we think that swimming in water so cold it hurts your face and numbs your feet is healthy? Why do we wear such dorky outfits in public? Why do we eat food that really belongs on a spacecraft?

Lance Armstrong answers this question. Dean Karnazes answers this question. And everyday individuals like you and me have answered this question. It sounds something like: "I do it because it makes me realize what I'm capable of." or "Because I need to experience discomfort in order to appreciate my comforts." Or some other equally profound concept.

Let's be honest. We are Americans. We are materialistic, self-absorbed a-holes. We want to save the world but only if we can look good while we're doing it. And only if it doesn't inconvenience us toooooo much. Yes, we do a smidge of good here and there, but even Angelina Jolie is getting an awful lot of PR for her acts of humanity. Insert: Oprah; Madonna; Alec Baldwin; Your Name Here Once You Become Famous.

It's a tough pill to swallow, but the real reason, ladies and gentlemen, is quite superficial. The real reason is that we want to look good in spandex. And the reason for that can be summarized in 2 words: The Bachelor. He's doing Wildflower and Lord help us, he might just have 1 rose left.

Andy Baldwin, whom my detective work has led me to believe has gone under the pseudonym Patrick Baldwin in previous Wildflowers, will be racing the long course and if that's not reason enough to get the ladies out there, I'm not sure what is. Last night at the Kezar track workout, there was a buzz amongst the females about Andy's participation. He's doing the long course and, what a coincidence, we'll be down there either watching or doing the long course ourselves.

On a personal note, I can't wait to see what this ultra-hunk really looks like. Will his Navy medals be pinned to his tri-shirt? Will he do the course with a stethescope around his neck? Former Bachelor Andrew Firestone looked good enough on TV (albeit, I thought he was a bit of a pretty-boy), but he's really about 5' tall. And Bob Guiney? Come on. With a name like that, I'm amazed they even let the guy(ny) on the show.

So I'm looking forward to a little extra drama this year...and, to wrap this up, I have one final wish, Dear God if you're listening: Please let Andy be one of the streakers.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You mean I need to sit there at the sidelines of the long course, in the boring, boiling, heat...just to see this plastic pretty-boy run by me?

Let's hope he's worth it!