King's Trail

Maui, I've learned, is the elitist faction of TNT, it's where the "it" people go to race. How I've only just discovered this goes to show how not "it" I am. I would put this race in the category of well-kept-secrets. Why it took me so long to sign up is beyond me...

June 8, race day. Still on Cally time, the 4:15am alarm wasn't the abrasive, jolting annoyance that it could have been. I hopped out of bed, greeted my roomate with a big it's-race-day! smile, and took care of a few last-minute logistics. Warm weather triathlons are easy to prepare for. No layers, no wetsuit, I didn't even need a towel. It all fit nicely in my backpack and we headed downstairs (again, not even a jacket needed at 5am) to meet up with the rest of the team. Good spirits abounded, the general mood of the group was: yes, we're doing this thing they call a "triathlon", but really? Must it harsh our Maui mellow?

We rode as a group over to start location at the Maui Prince hotel, about 3.5 miles. Set up the transition area, ate a banana or three, waited in line for a last trip to the loo, and then headed to the beach to check out the swim course. What, during our practice swim the day before, had appeared as a glassy smooth inlet of water, was now choppy with a smallish swell, I'd say around 2 feet to my uneducated oceanic eye. It was then that I got a little case of the jitters. What was I thinking, having such a cavalier attitude about this race? Since I did Big Kahuna, I have this notion that olympic distance races are, well, just a long workout. But throw a little 90 degree heat and a tough course into the mix and I found myself having to make an attitude adjustment.

Before the race started, we received the blessing from the Hawaian Witch Lady, who made us all (375 of us) link arms into this massive spandex group hug, and she led us in a prayer. While I had wax in my ears (a metaphor for how I feel about the Wicca or a preparation for the swim? you decide), I did manage to catch the jist of her message. She told us that when we were in the ocean, we should drink the blood of Mother Earth (which many of us, indeed did), that on the run we should smell the bones of Mother Earth (or was it just the patchouli from the locals), and on the bike we should feel God's touch from the sun. And then we sang the Star Spangled Banner. Go figure. Yes, the Witch Lady was a little esoteric, but I like that kind of stuff. I like being reminded that there's a bigger picture and of how very lucky I am.

At this juncture, the race began and we went off in heats 3 minutes apart. I started at around 7:30 (it's Maui, timekeeping is not a science). The swim was a bit dodgy. I put my breathing-on-both-sides skills to good use, this was the only way to escape getting splashed each time I came up for a breath. Other people were getting mouthfuls of water, which in turn was leading to mass vomiting (which in turn, led to more fish in the water). After I passed the fifth and final buoy, cruising full speed level four to the finish, I happened to notice a shadow looming underneath me in the water. And that was the happy moment of the triathlon, when I saw the turtle. I don't know why, but these creatures are just so clumsy and jovial, they make me laugh.

Swim time: 32 minutes. While certainly not anywhere near my better swim times, given the conditions, I was satisfied.

The King's Trail bike course wins the title of lamest bike courses ever. I felt like I was riding a course that had been designed by a stoner with ADD. It was up, down, up, down, stop, up, down, stop, turn, stop, turn, down, stop. It just made no sense. You couldn't get any speed and I ended up with an embarrassing time of 1:50, inflamed knees, and quads that were totally spent by the time I got on the run.

But run I did. It is now that I would like to give a shout out to my running inspiration, Ben, who sent me a text the night before the race and told me to really go for it and run the whole run. He knows that I have a weakness for stopping to walk, that I am not a runner at heart. His words stuck with me and it really amazed me how much of it was mental. I wanted to stop and walk during this run like I've never wanted to stop before. My knees were killing me, it was hotter than a whore in church, and my legs basically felt like cinder blocks. Fortunately, the water stops had freezing cold sponges which pretty much saved us, I'm guessing the same stoner who planned out the run course was also the mastermind behind this. But in exchange for a little cooling action, we ended up with soaking wet shoes; every step I took went: squish, squash, squish, squash.

Run time: 1:05.

Crossing the finish line was an awesome moment. I fell happily into the arms of my sweaty and repugnant (no offense guys) teammates where we proceeded to re-live every gruesome moment of the race. Just like always. Then I went and grabbed my phone and called my cohorts in San Francisco who had raced Alcatraz to get their race reports. Everyone had a great race; the main difference was that we got to go back to a hotel and lounge by the pool with Pina Coladas for the rest of the day. :)
The most amazing factoid of the race is that I somehow managed to rank 10th in my age group, out of 32. Now, while I do plan to get as much mileage out of this as possible, I really shouldn't let it go to my head. My overall time was not that great: 3:37, and I basically chalk it up to the fact that the race was predominantly TNT people who maybe, like me, were more interested in a Maui vacation than in excelling in a triathlon. Still, a very gratifying experience overall to be a part of the TNT Mai Tai division.