The Great Escape

3am: wide awake and not the least bit disoriented. Got the coffee going, toast toasting, tea brewing, and whatever other appliances seemed to make me feel like a functional human being in the middle of the night. With everything clicking away in the background, I took 5 minutes to sit and meditate, just a gentle reminder to stay calm and confident.

As he's in the running for Boyfriend of the Year, Brian volunteered to drive me down to the transition area, then he hung out from 4-7am waiting for the race to start. My heart still swells when I think about that. Escaping From Alcatraz is so much more desirable when you have someone to drop you off and give you a good luck kiss.

Anyway, back to the story at hand: the race.

Set up my transition quickly and then found my team gathering by the buses. Everyone was nervous and excited at the same time. We climbed onto the bus, amidst a layer of quiet chatter, most people listening to an ipod or just gazing into space. I was amazed at how long it seemed to take us to get to the pier, maybe because I associate bus rides with extended travel, but it felt like it took forever. But alas, we finally arrived, got bodymarked (by far, the best part of any triathlon) and took one last trip to the port-a-potty. Then we sat around chatting and trying to stay warm as the sun came up and they called us onto the boat.

The San Francisco Belle was a warm and cozy vessel and she took her sweet old time getting out to Alcatraz while us athletes made our last minute adjustments, getting suited up, earplugs in, jumping-jacks and whatever else we needed to do to get our shit together.

Once the race starts, it's pretty much a free for all. There are waves, but no one really pays attention to them. You make your way onto the deck and the officials yell at you, "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" until you just jump off. It's such a cool feeling to be one of the penguins, to not think and just do. To know that this is the last I'd be cursed with wondering, "What's this going to be like." I was desperate to just go already. I couldn't wait another second and jumped off the boat about a minute before my assigned start time.

Doing the swim on this particular day; however, was like winning the lottery. It was completely painless. It was a joy. Exhilarating. Before I knew it (37 minutes to be exact), it was over and I was climbing onto the beach to a huge crowd of cheering onlookers. The ease of the swim relative to what I was expecting set the tone for the rest of the race and the bike and run felt almost effortless. Easy to say that now that they're over, but looking back, I don't remember any moments of severe agony. There were so many people cheering, so many of my friends who came out to watch, plus my family who traveled from far and away to check out crazy-Pam-and-her-triathlon, it was basically a huge lovefest.

While the run had the potential to be brutal, it felt like a big party to me. My friends (shout out: Brian, Alana, Sarah, Steve) had formed a roaming clan and were traveling by bike to different parts of the course where they cheered like maniacs every time I showed up. On top of that, there was the lone drummer with his drum set on Chrissy Field, all of the other TNT folks who came out to watch, and the Challenged Athletes to keep me inspired.

Don't get me wrong, Escape From Alcatraz is a tough course. I know this because I could barely walk yesterday. I had some doubts as to whether I was physically ready for it, but I knew somewhere deep inside that no matter what, I'd slog it out. I was always more worried about the mental aspect; would I savor the experience or would I leave feeling beat up and worn down (a.k.a. Wildflower 2007 & 2006).

I walk (hobble) away from Escape feeling that it has made me a much stronger person. I remember several times over the course of the last few months where I seriously thought I'd give up, that it just wasn't worth it. That the fun was gone. While that was true at points along the way, I am deeply grateful for whatever stubbornness (and that's a lot)I have in my make-up that kept me going. Escaping made me remember what I enjoy about triathlon: it's the parallels to the mental challenges faced in everyday life, it's about bringing people together, and it's about not backing down in the face of something that you're not quite sure you can pull off. My motto going forward is: how do you know if you don't try? I mean tri?